I received this email and have added a few of my own. My theater friends will appreciate this!

You know that you work in commmunity theater if...
- your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
- you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
- you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.
- you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
- you have a Frequent Shopper Card at Savers.
- you start buying your work clothes at DI so you can buy your costumes at the mall.
- you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
- you've ever said, "Don't worry - we'll just hot glue it."
- you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue or duct tape.
- you've ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.
- you've ever called for a line -- in front of an audience.
- your children have ever begged you not to buy them any more Happy Meals.
- you think Neil Simon is a misunderstood genius.
- you've ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.
- you've ever gotten a part because you were the only guy who showed up for auditions.
- the audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.
- you've ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.
- you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels.
- you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels - and you're a guy.
- you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.
- your kids know your lines better than you do.
- your kids SAY your lines better than you do.
- you get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theater because you forgot your kids.
- you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.
- you've ever heard a director say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.
- you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.
- you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, "Just paint it black - no one will ever see it."
- your mother has ever greeted you after a performance with the words "Don't give up your day job."
- you've ever appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.
- the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor's still wet -- five minutes before curtain.
- you've ever been told your director has no eyebrows because he handled special effects for the last show.
- if you can't get to sleep at night because showtunes are running through your head.
- if you’ve said countless times, “I can’t. I have rehearsal.”
- if you realize theater is basically your social life and you don’t have any many friends outside of theater.
- if you want to shoot people who think putting on a production is easy.
- if stress is just a way of life.
- if never realized how much fun you had at rehearsals until you don’t have any more.
- if you have the urge to be in character in public.
- if once the production is over you don't know what to do with your time.
- if you love going to see other productions just to compare them to yours.
- if you could easily set up a cot and live in the theater. You’re there all the time anyway.
- if you don't think twice about seeing guys in make-up or tights.
- if you know what Hell Week is.
- if you're on your deathbed and miss school/work, just so you can function to go to rehearsal.
- if you quote lines from previous plays you've done when you have casual conversations with friends.
- if you suddenly realize that your entire wardrobe is black.
- if you know what spiking is, and it's not what you do to hair.
- if you've been working with the same people so long that you have blackmail to last a lifetime.
- if you have a sigh of relief when you are doing a comedy and you hear the audience laughing.
- if you can't remember what a home cooked meal tastes like, but you can remember every single way Taco Bell makes a taco or burrito.
- if you pride yourself in how fast you can strip your clothes off and change costumes. (Or help people strip!)